Manipulation, girls do it, shit posters do it, whales even do it

I am an experienced and seasoned trader, who has proudly turned a small $5,000 investment in January of 2019 into a fortune worth over $5,102. Most of my profits came from following the excellent DD on this sub, realizing I had lost nearly all of my money, and then getting really lucky playing biotech stocks right around COVID. At the height of my investing career I had turned that $5,000 into around $10,000 plus or minus $5,000.

Yesterday a realization dawned on me. I looked back at my comment history on a since deleted account and found that I had credulously bought into hundreds of plays based on TA and hype from ostensibly honest posters – people who positioned themselves as men of the people who wanted us all to succeed. I had to ask myself *if all of these people wanted me to succeed, why did I keep _losing money_ every time I followed their advice?*

The realization was this: I, boy genius, had been had by a pack of charlatans. These posters were not in fact benign and kind hearted genius day traders with brilliant plays based on scientific and technical analysis. Their DD may have been long and full of many colorful charts with arrows and candles and awesome phrases; but their hearts were empty and their premises were naught but lies!

Rather than trying to make *me* rich, they were fattening me – and people like me – up for the proverbial slaughter. Like so many suckered before me, I had nodded my head, opened my wallet, and bought whatever they told me: PLTR, AMC, NIO, GLD, SLV, AAL, the list goes on.

Sure *maybe* my account would become turgid for a few glittering moments but it never climaxed into a blizzard of cocaine and Benjamins as the posters promised. Usually I was left watching my options bleed on the daily as the initial frenzy of interest by retail mongoloids diminished and the dumb money flooded into the next frenzied promise.. time and time again.. time and time again.

So now that I have wizened myself to this treacherous game, I want to know. How do you identify the GOOD tips from the BAD tips. How do we know when a poster on here has the goods?

Edit: does the wholesome award mean you think I’m dumb?

Edit 2: I guess, obligatory this has blown up. I am forever thankful to live in an age where a post that took five minutes to write can touch so many lives. To everyone who appreciated my writing style, thank you! I have been honing my writing with a strict regime of alcohol infusions directly into my brain cells, having explosive writing sessions on the toilet between 3 and 7 am, and of course many, many shit posts here and on yahoo answers.

Most of you have heard my earnest and sincere call to stop the shills and been supportive and kind. For a subreddit where we proudly call ourselves disabled, coke addicted, lower order primates; this is truly high praise. I would be remiss if I failed to mention that I really believe WSB is one of the last bastions of what I consider the spirit of the internet. A place where pale nerds can role-play being whatever they want.. maybe you’re a successful trader or a busty Japanese sailor.. it doesn’t really matter and we will support you either way.

To the many people I earnestly offended with this post and to those who had their ability to recognize _any_ satire surgically removed so you could memorize more shitty tickers to shill; bite it. Nibble it a little but then just chomp down on it. At this point it is mostly calloused raw hide anyway. If your jaw gets tired from chewing on this dick call your mother and ask her why her own jaw is wired shut. I’ll give you a hint, it’s not because she fell off a chair when she realized her son was a rage addicted internet badass. I’m not sure exactly what happened but I really hope she gets better soon. If I can do anything let me know.

My only hope is that we can keep this fantastic community together – not as apes but as unaffiliated degenerates who lose more than they can afford and occasionally win more than they deserve.

Now as for me, I’m going to be spending the rest of the afternoon finally learning how to trade options, which thanks to dozens of posts I now realize I totally suck ass at trading.

God bless you and may you all get exactly what you deserve.

– PayMe2Shill4U

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  1. I was thinking the other day that an “Accuracy Bot” or “Reliability Bot” would be cool for the ppl who often post DD/TA, but I dont think there’d be a practical way to implement one. Then again Im a truck driver so operating a toaster oven is almost beyond my skillset

  2. All these stocks have printed in the past, just don’t be the retard to buy at the top. If you’re relying on DD’s posted here learn to understand which ones are good and which ones are garbage.

    1. Does the OP of the DD sound like a bagholder? Is he giving biased points and has the stock already been pumped? Most likely he bought at the top before he had done his research, and conducted it after bagholding.

    2. Does the DD post clear and legitimate catalysts and not just rumours? Here’s some to be wary of: stock buyback, short interest, etc

    3. Does the DD present a bullish AND bearish thesis? Everything comes with risk/reward and these need to be stated to come to a justified decision.

    As a matter of fact, sometimes the best times to position yourself in a stock are at times of uncertainty. If someone claims to KNOW that some retarded ticker is gonna print you millions, they don’t. Nobody knows.

    All we can do is speculate. But with that being said I have read some incredible DD on this subreddit and a lot of them tend to be the ones with the lesser upvotes.

    Avoid the bagholder DD, and do your own. At the very least look at their financials. Doesn’t even have to be complicated. Just go on Nasdaq and find their quarterly EPS. If it’s positive, good, if it’s negative, find out why. If the ‘why’ is bad take it off the watchlist.

  3. In January I saw a comment somewhere that said “at least I’m not as retarded as all of these AMC posters”, so I bought AMC calls right then and got an 8000% return on them. Same strategy with Hertz, which I’m up 1000% on

    Then I see DD posts and I’m like “why the fuck is he telling all of us this”. I buy puts on whatever he’s shilling and usually do fine.

    I do my own DD. “The demand for semiconductors is at an all time high. I don’t think it’ll ever go down”

    After that thought I realize that sometimes I fall asleep on my own arm, and when it goes numb I think that there’s an animal in my bed with me and I panic. Why the fuck am I doing stock market research? I invest opposite to my initial reaction, because I’m too stupid to trust. It works out.

    That’s it, that’s my investment strategy. Distrust of all of you, and especially myself. Adopt it for a week and see where it takes you

  4. I get all my plays exclusively from episodes of Chad Money now.

    Went from a $100 balance I made in profit over 6 months (pulled out my initial $1000) to a $400 balance in two weeks. All hail Chad Money.

  5. Check the OP’s positions and compare to the current price.

    If they’re $15 out of the money on a 0DTE option they’re probably trying to pump the stock to save their ass.


    If they bought 10,000 shares at X price check when the stock was that price. If they’ve been in the red for the last 2 months they’re probably trying to get rid of the bag.


    Does the DD have any actual DD in it? Or is it just “You should buy this because I think it’s good”? Does it show financials, does it present the bear case and risks for a balanced view?


    For example I bought a few shares of BCRX after reading this DD



    Notice how long that was? I paid $11.16 and it’s currently at $17.35.


    Now see this recent Ford DD (quick disclaimer, I just picked a recent DD at random and skimmed it, it may in fact be good DD but I’m too lazy to check right now, also it’s too recent to compare the price action)


    Pretty short huh?


    Does the price target and time frame seem realistic? Take every price target with a large pinch of salt, also check what the analyst price targets are for comparison.


    Does the OP have a record of previous good DD? Check their profile or the links in the visualmod post that get’s stickied in every thread.


    Is OP’s account very new? Are they spamming various investing subs about a particular stock?



    Finally, apply a bit of common sense.

  6. I too was once a poor ignorant trusting fool like you. GME, PLTR, CLOV, CLNE… These were all the dirty things these sinners sold me on. I took them at their word and they did great and terrible things to my softest most tender appendage, my wallet.
    But the lord did shine his glory upon me and with a righteous fury burning in his voice he spoke to me. He said ” Dip shit, did I not give thee $3000 and teach thee to invest?” And I said yes Harambe, you did. And he said “then where the fuck is thine money!?” And I said, well I keep trying to buy the dips and follow these other apes DD, they have crayons And red and green mountain pictures! And he said ” dip shit, poor sweet ignorant dip shit… If something doesn’t work, perhaps thou should start doin the opposite of what thee has done.”
    And just like that… I knew! Sweet fucking crayola factory worker, I knew what to do! I turned that $3000 Into $234 by following these fuck Bois. But by taking our lord and savior Harambes advice and doing some high functioning autist shit I turned that $234 into $6300 and I’m gonna share that revelation with you now. When these fuckwits post their crayon scribbles on here saying “hOlY FuCk BoiS tHiS oNE gOnNa MOOOON!” I would simply see if the stock had Indeed rose by more than 8% in the last 48hrs. If it had, I bought fucking puts on that shit. Because these bitches ain’t loyal

  7. When you realize that there is no sure thing, no DD or TA or FA in the world is guaranteed, and you realize that your just gambling with better odds than the casino.

  8. I totally agree with this comment. I’m even thinking about my own posts. If you look at them, I was (and still am) long $ARDX. I talked about it and believe in it. But the FDA kinda threw a wrench in the works. And I wonder. Did someone read my post and then invest in this? I mean ultimately we have to make our own decisions. But for me I feel bad if i steered someone towards this and they lost $. One thing I will say. If you see a biotech play on here based on approval. There is no such thing as a sure thing!

  9. This is the internet man… We’re all Warren Buffetts packing Ron Jeremy sized dicks and if you haven’t figured that out by now maybe you should just deposit that Count of Monte Cristo sized fortune of yours into an index fund and fap to that 20 percent. Seriously though if you want to learn something about this shit and crowd psychology and MANY other things READ… THEN RE READ “Memoirs of a stock operator”.. It’s a great read, highly entertaining and one of the most informative financial books I’ve ever read.

  10. I think that the biggest concern is not even so much figuring out who has good stocks to pitch, as much as deciding, when you get into a stock, when you are going to get out.

    I bought AMC for around $10, some for less, some for more. I sold for $30. Could I have made more? Sure. But I tripled my money in a couple of months.

    I bought GME for a a net cost of under $190, sold for a net of $315.

    Again, I could have made more. But I made money. I’m still at nearly double what I started with, even though my portfolio has dropped by 50% in the past couple of weeks. I don’t take only the DD that’s shown here. I google the stocks, see what the big guys are saying about them. Most importantly, I look at the stock’s historical rise and fall.

    If it’s been volatile for the past 5 years, then I knew not to buy it if it’s near its historical high.

    I’m not a stock advisor. I’m an old lady. And all I know is patience and sticking to a plan.

  11. Looking to get rich quick is always going to be dicey. Maybe there are people who do it through research but more than often it’s luck and you’re not hearing the other stories of people who timed things wrong.

    At the risk of giving an unpopular opinion, there are low cost services that have a good track record of promoting stocks that do well in the mid- to long-term. I’ve found it’s worth the cost. I’m not promoting anything specific.

  12. I’ve made money, not as much as I want but at least I haven’t lost any. I look for momentum and trend. That’s the best way I can put it. I jump on that and then jump off when things start to look sketchy. I don’t think I’m retarded but I’m here… so…..

  13. As many here say, it’s a casino. So like any betting you need an edge. Short (sorry) of working for a hedge fund, you can >sell<rather than buy calls because then the time decay is working in your favour. Safety is important too so stick to selling cash secured puts or covered calls as you feel bullish or bearish respectively. Once you’ve got that down move into credit call/put spreads, and use delta to estimate your risk of margin calls / liquidations. Good luck.

  14. You are over-thinking it. It is not that anyone is manipulating you or has a long con in mind, it is that every prediction posted on this sub is a wild guess, and so 99% of them are wrong.

    It also becomes a classic example of survivorship bias, where the posters of the 1% that were right are treated as if they have special insight or skill, when in reality they were just guessing too.

    > How do you identify the GOOD tips from the BAD tips. How do we know when a poster on here has the goods?

    You don’t. There is a reason professional investors never beat an index fund long-term. No one is special, no one has special insight. Some people have gotten lucky, even a few times in a row, but they are guessing just as much as anyone else is.

  15. Buy weekly SPY calls at 10 am if the futes are green in premarket. Buy weekly VXX calls at 9:30 am if the futes are red in premarket. Don’t stock pick. Buy weeklies for the next week if it’s Wednesday or later.

    I just saved you all thousands of dollars in L’s. You’re welcome. Fuck your DD, I only bet on macro trends

  16. ” really believe WSB is one of the last bastions of what I consider the spirit of the internet. A place where pale nerds can role-play being whatever they want..”

    The dream of the 90’s is alive on WSB

  17. This is true. You can’t really trust anyone. Everyone lies and manipulates for personal gain.
    I don’t though. And if you want to make money you, and everyone else, should dump every penny they have into a company called “Spine way”.
    You can trust me, because I am honest.

  18. It’s funny seeing everyone fall for pump and dumps now. I believe it’s all a ploy to dilute the GME “squeeze”. Now the average retard has 10 stocks that are “going to pump” instead of focusing on just 1. Ya’ll got played.

Moving funds onto MyConstant, Nexo, BlockFi?

A message from a .003 HODLer